I am slightly irritated with myself when I think back to my reasoning for auditioning at the Lusty Lady. I was trying out my "transient writer" phase in which I imagined I would simply rack up as many interesting experiences as possible and this would make me a better/more controversial/more interesting writer. But the truth is Hunter S. Thompson did that a long time before I thought about doing it and probably a lot better than I ever could. Besides, he's dead and kind of an asshole. It turns out "having an interesting/controversial experience" isn't really what I get out of dancing. And instead of it making me feel more subversive and daring, it actually makes me feel too normal and prudish.
As I've mentioned before, I work at Hot Chick Mecca. I'm surrounded by the naked bodies and quick-witted minds of dozens of beautiful women. (Yeah, I crush hard sometimes.) While I can't say exactly how many of these women work in the sex industry beyond dancing at the Lusty, many of those that I've really befriended have or currently do work as dominatrixes, escorts and porn stars. In their personal lives most of them are in polyamorous/open relationships and those relationships lie somewhere on the LGBTQ spectrum.
I look like fucking Holly Hobby in comparison.
My relationship is generally heterosexual, decidedly monogamous (that whole me with girls thing is still being worked out) and I have not participated in any sex work outside the Lusty. Despite my doubts when I first entered the world of sex work that such a mainstream lifestyle wasn't right for me, I now stand firm in my choices. What bothers me about this is not that I stand out in this group or that I might come across as too "normal", but that people who are judged for their "abnormal" choices are so quick to pass judgement on mine. More than one person has suggested that by choosing to have only partner I must be settling or conforming. Still more have commented on its pace, questioning why I would live with someone I have only been dating for 9 months. I don't feel as if I should have to justify my decisions simply because they don't match up to someone else's expectations.
Now this is starting to turn into a bit of a rant but I do think I have a solid point. There is no such a thing as "should be". Nothing should be anyway. And furthermore, I don't believe that there is a universal prescription for happiness. I would not feel fulfilled in a polyamorous relationship, just as many others would not feel fulfilled in a monogamous one. Here's my point: it's ok to be a stripper. Or a porn star. It's ok to be poly. It's also ok to work a day job. Get married. Have children. Shit, it's ok to do/be all those things at once. But I don't think it's ok to dog any of those decisions because they don't happen to look like our own. We're all intelligent human beings (ok there are some exceptions. many exceptions) and make conscious decisions about our lives, our bodies and our relationships. Let's respect that.
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